Hurt..
Have you ever been hurt so much to the point where you just can’t take it? Become so overwhelmed that you can’t hold it in anymore? I have, and not just once. And the worst part of it all is, it continues even through all the tears I’ve cried or all the words I’ve yelled. I know that not everyone is going to like someone else, I mean, not even I like everyone that I know. But what I don’t get is why I have to be the target of all the humiliation. If I don’t like someone, I don’t try to make their lives miserable; I just treat them like any other person that I don’t know that well. But instead, I am ignored, interrupted, bothered, and treated like garbage. I have great friends that always support me, but those couple of people that make me feel horrible can really ruin my day. It’s not like I come home every day and bawl my eyes and feel sorry for myself, but after trying my hardest to ignore it, and after a certain period of time with no change, it really gets to me, and it hurts. And it’s hardest when those people are always around me. My grade is quite small, and these people just happen to have friends that are my friends too. It’s kind of hard to avoid a bad situation with them when I want to be with my friends, because no matter what, it ALWAYS seems like they are there too.When I talk to these people about how they make me feel, it seems like maybe it won’t be as bad after, but things just seem to get worse. I try my hardest not to be mean to them, and I even ask them what it is about me that makes them dislike me. The funny part is they can never come out with a reasonable answer that makes sense. Sometimes they’re even just like, “I don’t know why I don’t like you,” which makes me wonder, then why do they have a problem with me? Sometimes they give me reasons, but then I tell them, “Who isn’t like that, and it’s not like YOU aren’t like that either.” In the end, nothing ever gets resolved and everything goes back to normal, which is the constant tormenting and bothering.By now I’ve learned to not be so affected by it. Before, it was terrible. Before, I felt so bad all the time, because I was letting it get to me way too much. Now, though, I’ve gotten stronger and I deal with it so much better than I used to. I know now that those people don’t matter, because if they aren’t going to treat me the way I deserve to be treated, then they don’t deserve my attention. It’s not like I’ll retaliate and do the same to them, because that would make me a hypocrite, but I don’t think I will ever be able to be friends with these people. And unless some miracle happens, they aren’t going to want to be friends with me ever either. But for now I’ll keep living my life and hope that maybe things could change, even the slightest.Feel the Beat! 
*
To prove you're a person (not a spam script), type the security word shown in the picture.
I know what that feels like, and Im happy that you are not going to let it get to you as much. Im really happy that the situation has made you stronger, something that is very hard to achieve. I really like how you are not going to let those people get to you because they don`t deserve you attention.I agree with you! If one of your friends does that, I know how bad it would feel. But just think about it, those people have to make someone the traget, make someone feel bad so that they can feel good. You should never turn into something like that. I know you wont, but just in case. Haha. Dont worry about what those people say, because it is actually probable that it is not personal. They just get someone, and bother him/her about everything he/she says. I know it has been going on for a long time, but my advice is to try to ignore it. I know it is going to take a while, because no one like to be treated that way! But, I know you are going to find a way out of this! You always do. I know I am not helping much because what you wrote probably made you satisfied, and you feel better now. I just want to tell you that I really admire you. Not just for getting through this, but for EVERYTHING you do. I really dont understand those people, how can they do that with someone as awesome and amazing as you? Well, I guess that question will remain unanswered. I also admire the way you write! Keep it up!! So, good luck with everything. Remember that when something like that happens, just ignore it. And if you have no luck with that, remember I will ALWAYS be there for you, no matter what.
Posted May 1, 2008, 6:44 pmyour friend,
Andre
Hi. I surfed in from Al Upton’s page. I’m primary teaching in Baku, Azerbaijan and just wanted to say that I enjoyed reading “Hurt”, if ‘enjoyed’ is the right word under the circumstances.
It seems to me that teachers in your year level might intervene by setting up discussions on conflicts amongst students. We’ve found in Grade 5 that we need monthly meetings to value diversity and to brainstorm answers to problems. I hope you can talk about it with staff sometime.
Thanks again for your “Hurt”.
(Mr) Leigh
Posted May 2, 2008, 7:10 amI didn’t know this was happening to you. I know you are a kind and respectful young lady, but being strong also creates bottled up emotions.
Just yesterday I said to a friend of mine that I don’t understand why another person I know dislikes me so much. I can feel it through their body language and lack of eye contact when I talk to this person. I wonder what it is about me they don’t like. I am never disrespectful or rude to them, so why the cold shoulder? I, however, do not see this person on a daily basis so I am not faced with this situation frequently, unlike yourself.
You are right, it does hurt, but it doesn’t solve the problem. I would love to chat with you about this situation, I would like to help.
Posted May 5, 2008, 3:13 amYeah. I know what you mean. No joke.There’s someone who I’m by a lot. In the middle of the year, we didn’t really like each other, and so yeah. I was annoying to him, and so I deserved to get treated badly. I guess. I just never thought that my things that I did to annoy him would actually be hurting him since he was very obnoxious and joked at the expense of others. I didn’t think of it the way I would if I was annoying a more… vulnerable kind of kid. Anyways, I stopped that a long time ago, and I’ve tried to make up for it, but he is very inconsiderate to me. He is maybe joking, but he always yells at me to shut up, that I’m an idiot, and stuff like that.
I have a friend who is a very good friend to me, but he hurts me a lot physically. He is really nice, but every time I do something that annoys him, even if something just slips out of my mouth that annoys him, he will hit me, kick me, or hurt me in another way. One time I was just walking wih him, and when he bent down to get a drink of water, he kicked me where it realy hurts. And he kicked me really hard. I didn’t do anything to him, but he really hurt me then. Physically and mentally. I just went into the bathroom and cried, because someone i thought was my friend had just done that to me. Last week I said “yo mama” randomly. I didn’t even say it to him (in fact, I wasn’t even saying it to anyone but myself), but he got really, really angry. He threw a bottle at me, and it wasn’t a sharp bottle or anything, but he threw it so hard that the flat part of it broke my skin and made me bleed. I don’t know if he knows that he hurts me, and I know he doesn’t feel bad. But I feel bad. He threatens me alot, and I just hope that he can stop or realize how much he is hurting me. It just hurts me when someone I think is my friend wants to do something like that to me. So yeah. I know how you feel.
Lots of times I’m so worried about my stuff I just can’t hold it in anymore. I’ll just sit down on my bed and cry. I get worried about lots of stuff, and I don’t like it.
Posted May 5, 2008, 7:43 am