Hurt..

nAT — Fri, 02 May 2008 00:49:48 +0000

Have you ever been hurt so much to the point where you just can’t take it? Become so overwhelmed that you can’t hold it in anymore? I have, and not just once. And the worst part of it all is, it continues even through all the tears I’ve cried or all the words I’ve yelled. I know that not everyone is going to like someone else, I mean, not even I like everyone that I know. But what I don’t get is why I have to be the target of all the humiliation. If I don’t like someone, I don’t try to make their lives miserable; I just treat them like any other person that I don’t know that well. But instead, I am ignored, interrupted, bothered, and treated like garbage. I have great friends that always support me, but those couple of people that make me feel horrible can really ruin my day. It’s not like I come home every day and bawl my eyes and feel sorry for myself, but after trying my hardest to ignore it, and after a certain period of time with no change, it really gets to me, and it hurts. And it’s hardest when those people are always around me. My grade is quite small, and these people just happen to have friends that are my friends too. It’s kind of hard to avoid a bad situation with them when I want to be with my friends, because no matter what, it ALWAYS seems like they are there too.When I talk to these people about how they make me feel, it seems like maybe it won’t be as bad after, but things just seem to get worse. I try my hardest not to be mean to them, and I even ask them what it is about me that makes them dislike me. The funny part is they can never come out with a reasonable answer that makes sense. Sometimes they’re even just like, “I don’t know why I don’t like you,” which makes me wonder, then why do they have a problem with me? Sometimes they give me reasons, but then I tell them, “Who isn’t like that, and it’s not like YOU aren’t like that either.” In the end, nothing ever gets resolved and everything goes back to normal, which is the constant tormenting and bothering.By now I’ve learned to not be so affected by it. Before, it was terrible. Before, I felt so bad all the time, because I was letting it get to me way too much. Now, though, I’ve gotten stronger and I deal with it so much better than I used to. I know now that those people don’t matter, because if they aren’t going to treat me the way I deserve to be treated, then they don’t deserve my attention. It’s not like I’ll retaliate and do the same to them, because that would make me a hypocrite, but I don’t think I will ever be able to be friends with these people. And unless some miracle happens, they aren’t going to want to be friends with me ever either. But for now I’ll keep living my life and hope that maybe things could change, even the slightest.Feel the Beat!

Feel the Beat! » bullied

Hurt..